Hey Ya'll,
So today... I am not having a good day, as the title says and I just need to talk about it and since I have no friends really and my boyfriend is playing soccer, I am going to just blog about it. I feel really alone today, my mom is in Mississippi with my family, (she's coming home tomorrow) and all I have here in the house is all boys and I know I can talk to my dad but I don't really wanna talk to my dad about something I feel stupid about as it is. I am not going go into a lot of detail because of certain people who may or may not read the blog. I just feel like I am stupid for feeling the way that I feel. I know I am high maintenance emotionally and I hate that about myself and I am working on it but I also feel like I am not totally unjustified in my feelings. These feelings aren't from no where, I have a reason for them that I think it a good reason, or maybe again I am just being unreasonable. I know that both are possibly the case. In my past relationships, I was never first... or even in the top 3 sometimes in the top 5. I don't want to be first, I don't want someone's life to revolve around me... I just wanted to be part of it! I've let my life revolve around someone before and it was no good, it ended bad and I was crushed so I want to have a life of my own apart from my relationship and I want him to have his as well, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to be a big part of it. Anyway, I know I am just complaining and I normally don't and I don't like too but I need to vent or I am going to go INSANE! Alright, well I think I might be done... and I do feel a little better so now I am just going to rearrange my room and see if that helps to keep my mind busy! I hope ya'll's day is going better than mine!
-Kaylan
