I graduate tomorrow...

   

     So,
            I am laying here and as tired as I am, I can not sleep. I feel excited, happy, nervous and sad. I can't believe this part of my life is over. I can not wrap my head around the fact that I worked so hard all of the years I was in school and now it's over. It will never ever be like it didn't happen; I have to many emotional scars to prove to myself that it did, and some physical ones to go along with the emotional. I remember starting high school. I was terrified. I did not know how I was going to go through what seems to be the longest four years of your life without my best friend, but I did. I made it through the storm and I made it through in one piece, well mostly anyway. That was four years ago but it feels like two weeks ago. It feels like I was just on my way home from orientation crying because I was going to do this without anyone and I had to do it and I would; and I did. I remember feeling it was going to be impossible and then freshmen year was over and I survived it, and I was alright and I was going to continue to be, even after having my world shattered by my first love. For those of you who don't know or haven't experienced it yet, imagine having not just your world but you down to the core of your being, being shattered and your world literally falling apart. I had to not only put myself back together but I had to find out who I was again, when I had just figured it out. I told myself that if I could get through that, I could get through anything and I can. Sophomore year was  pretty uneventful besides my moving to Germany. Junior year was hard for me emotionally but as of the work and classes it wasn't awful and I was so stoked to have one more year left and now that year is over. Senior year, was by far the easiest when it comes to everything, emotional, physical and school. I moved back to America but I was so excited about that I almost kissed the tar mat when we landed. The work was not hard, the change was easy to deal with and I for the most part, had a good time senior year but now it's all over. The four years I thought I could never do, the four years I looked forward to when I was in fourth grade, going I only have five years until I am in high school and then nine until I am done and now I am done with high school and I will. I am so excited but so nervous!!
-Kaylan

Tomorrow is my LAST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL!

Like the title says,

Tomorrow is my last day of high school and I'm honestly kinda mixed about it. I am excited, sad, happy, and anxious! I am just so, overwhelmed with emotion. It doesn't seem real... at all. I just... am.... yeah lol I don't know. I've got a blog planned after graduation, it's going to be... monumental, at least for me! I'm kind of taking my last "school night" in. I am going to dress up tomorrow though, I want... I want to look cute and feel good about myself, walking out my high school doors for the last time as a student. I have senior assembly on Friday but it's not really that big for me, I won't be in the slideshow but that's fine I suppose. I've been to four high schools in my entire 4 years in high school so not being known is not new for me and it honestly doesn't bother me. There is to much about to happen for me, and to much that I am going to do in my life to worry about not being in the senior slide show. Yeah, I was cute kid, so why do I need to put all of them to shame with my adorable baby/toddler/kid self? Psh, It's alright, I'll let them keep their self-esteems. :p Anyway, a few of my friends want me to go so that is why I am going mainly, it's not going to be all teary eyed for me or anything, graduation will be for me. I don't have any real connections to any high schools, I went to Schweinfurt for the longest but I hated it so I'm not really sad to not be graduation from there. I have more ties to Pickering. I grew up in Louisiana, well Louisiana and Mississippi but I spent most of my school years there. I was there in preschool-8th grade (not counting 1st, was in Mississippi) I spent 10 years at school in Pickering and I would have known the people I was graduating with and it would have meant so much more to me. The Lord had other plans though and I ended right here, where my life began for the first time, and now it's beginning again; metaphorically speaking of course. This chapter in my life is over and I am starting something totally new, completely new uncharted territory for me. College, and then the rest of my life. It wont be long I'm sure when I look back on my life and think "When did I become my mother?" (Hopefully in some ways I won't) I'm kind of sad but at the same time I know the part of my life I am about to start is going to be so much rewarding for me and I am going to enjoy it so much more than the dreaded middle school and high school years. I wasn't one of those super popular kids and I always had issues trying to fit in somewhere, I never seemed to, even with my friends, I only have one person who has ever gotten me totally and she is not with me all the time, though she is coming down for graduation. The kids who are super popular in high school and have a great time, that's awesome for them but that will probably be there peak in life and I haven't even begun to have mine but once I do, it will be amazing and it will last for the rest of my life hopefully. I am so looking forward to college and I think I will love it, so I am praying I am right. Anyway, I think I have given you enough to read for tonight, so I am going to get off here...
Have a great night!
-Kaylan

"Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together" -Marilyn Monroe

Last Monday and Exemptions!

Hey Ya'll


So this is actually kinda cool because I'm blogging from school! I am in second block of the day (we have four) and I am exempt from this class so I can sleep all block or play on the computer, I choose to play on the computer! This is the last day I will have this class though, the last time I will have a first and second block to go to! It's bittersweet. I'm excited, happy, sad, nervous, scared and so much more; with graduation being so close I am looking back on the things I wish I could have done, the things I wish I wouldn't have done and the things I would go back and change in a second if I could. I didn't have a great high school experience but there have been worse I am more than certain of that. I've been to four high schools and four years, moved from the south to north (never having been out of the south) and then to another country and I've managed (mostly anyway) to hold myself together and I've gotten through it with my best friend and some other good friends I've made along the way.
We made cookies in my art class aka my first block and I was like yummy! I'll insert a photo for ya'll when I get home. I am also making ice cream in my fourth block so yummy!!!
I do not have to be here tomorrow at all! But I do have to be here on Wednesday to take my third block exam, but I am not worried and I'm confident that I will do well and it will help my grade for sure!
Anyway, sorry the unusually long blog but thanks for reading!!!
Have a spiffy day!

-Kaylan


"The only limitations you have are the ones you give yourself" -Steven Harper

Last Week of High School..

Ya'll

I am not sure how to feel about this.... I'm so excited and so sad at the same time. I can't wait to be done but there are so many things I would go back and do differently. I moved 4 times in high school, that was hard enough, through the classes, friends, enemies, teachers, rude people, tears etc... I am just... I don't know how to feel about this... and next week is graduation! I want to cry just thinking about it!!!